A guy walks into a bar...

Stop me if you've heard this one before.
  1. β€’
    The guy sits down at the bar and orders a beer, an empty shot glass and a straw.
  2. β€’
    The bartender gives him a funny look, rummages around for a straw and sets it all in front of the man.
  3. β€’
    "Not too many people ask for straws around here"
    The bartender comments to the man.
  4. β€’
    "It's not for me"
    The man replies as he starts to unbutton his front shirt pocket.
  5. β€’
    The man pulls out a tiny piano, and a tiny bench and sets them on the bar.
  6. β€’
    "Sorry pal, you're going to have to play with your toys some other time."
    The bartender remarks.
  7. β€’
    "These aren't toys," the man says, "this is the worlds smallest grand piano."
    The man explains.
  8. β€’
    "Well it looks like a toy to me, sorry fella, either put it away or I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
  9. β€’
    "What if I told you that I had a little man in my pocket, no bigger than ten inches tall, and he could play this piano better than you've ever heard?"
  10. β€’
    "Well then I'd call you a fuckin liar!"
    The bartender says sternly before letting out a roaring belly laugh.
  11. β€’
    "And if I wasn't lying what would it be worth to you?"
  12. β€’
    "If you have a little man in your pocket and he plays this piano better than I've ever heard before, then your drinks are on the house."
  13. β€’
    "Deal."
  14. β€’
    "But... If he doesn't, and I'll be the judge, then you're paying the tab for everyone in here tonight."
    The bartender points around the room at the half filled bar, everyone is now paying attention to what is going on.
  15. β€’
    "You've got yourself a deal, mister."
    The man says, before pulling the tiny piano player out of his pocket and setting him down on the tiny bench in front of the tiny piano. The man pours some of his beer in the shot glass and slides it over next to the piano. The little piano player takes a sip of the beer through the straw, cracks his knuckles and begins playing.
  16. β€’
    The little man plays everything, from Chopin to Billy Joel, and it's incredible. It's not just the best that the bartender has ever heard, it's better than anyone had ever heard!
    The little man continues to play and drink for hours, each time he finishes his shot of beer, the bartender fills it back up. Until, eventually he gets drunk and passes out.
  17. β€’
    "That was amazing!" The bartender says, "where did you find him?"
  18. β€’
    "You wouldn't believe me."
    The man says.
  19. β€’
    "Buddy, I didn't believe that you had a little man in your pocket that could play the piano. But now that I've seen it, there isn't anything you could tell me that I wouldn't believe."
  20. β€’
    "Alright, listen, I'll tell you, but you've got to promise me that..."
  21. β€’
    "Yeah yeah, sure I promise, just tell me!"
  22. β€’
    "The other night I was at the bar down the road. I had a few drinks, I got in an argument and the bouncer through me out."
  23. β€’
    "What does that have to do with a ten inch piano player?"
    The bartender inquires.
  24. β€’
    "The bouncer threw me out and I landed in a pile of garbage in the back, next to the antique shop."
  25. β€’
    "Go on..."
  26. β€’
    "Well, I must've rubbed up against it when I landed because a genie came out of a lamp."
  27. β€’
    "Do you have the lamp with you???!!!!"
    The bartender inquires.
  28. β€’
    "No, I left it."
  29. β€’
    "You left it??!! Where? Let's go get it!"
  30. β€’
    "I think it's broken or something."
  31. β€’
    "Broken, how? You got your wish."
  32. β€’
    "Well, I got a wish, but I think the genie is hard of hearing..."
  33. β€’
    "What do you mean?"
  34. β€’
    "You don't think I really asked for a ten inch pianist, do you?"
    πŸ•΄πŸŽΉπŸŽΌπŸ†
  35. β€’