Doritos flavors, ranked by fuckability
Inspired by Doritos Sex Party
- •Don't judge me for wanting to fuck Doritos alright?!Love is love.
- •And I'm not the only one who feels this way.I didn't make that bag!
- •Or this one...You can tell by the look on his face that yellow is enjoying himself, so don't feel bad for him just because it looks awkward and painful.
- •I was hoping this would become a Title Wave but some people are too scared to tackle such a controversial issue....I'm not going to name any names though. 🤐
- •Anyway, on to the rankings...
- •4. TapatioToo hot! I finish before the bag is done, and then I start to feel bad about myself and doubt my abilities. How many other people have finished the bag? Should I eat my own chips to get it out of my system before I get together with Tapatio? I dunno. It's just too much pressure and when I cry afterwards, I forget that Tapatio is still on my fingers, and then my eyes end up burning. It's just bad news all around.
- •3. Salsa VerdeA lot of fun! Just spicy enough to make me feel like I'm amazing. Salsa Verde is always there for me after a long night of drinking, no matter how late it is. The bigger bag is great, but it's not the size that counts, I truly like it for what's on the inside.
- •2. Cool RanchSuper popular! Makes me feel special to be the one that gets to bring Cool Ranch home at night. But, also a little conceited. Tries too hard to be "cool" and doesn't seem authentic. Spends too much time checking out its corners in the mirror, making sure it looks good from all the different angles and positions. Classically desirable without much substance, makes me feel shallow to enjoy it so much, but I always have a smile on my face when we're done.
- •1. Nacho CheeseThe total package! A perfect combination of desirability and comfort. Nacho Cheese was my best friend but grew up to become the sexiest chip on the block. It was my first experience and every time I come back it gets better and better. There's always something to look forward to with Nacho Cheese; tastes great, smells great, always satisfying and doesn't act like a slut like Cool Ranch! The best part is I always finish off the bag before I'm ready to be done, so I feel like a total stud! I ❤️🧀