This list does not include anything from The Chappelle Show. These are ranked by how often I quote them, which is a direct result of how much they make me laugh and also the primary reason my wife now hates Dave Chappelle. Absent from this list is my impeccable impersonation of Dave telling these jokes(think Jay Pharoah on SNL, only better).
  1. Emergency Call
    "...died crying like a bitch."
  2. Chip
    "I'm sorry officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that."
  3. Grape Drink
    "What the fuck is Juice?!"
  4. 3am in the Ghetto
    With bad guy voice as the lead in.
  5. The Chicken
    "All this time I thought I liked chicken because it was delicious, but it turns out I'm genetically predisposed to liking chicken."
  6. Native Americans
    "I couldn't tell a mother fucker named Running Coyote that my name was Dave, so I said huh? My name? Oh, it's uh... Black Feet."
  7. Held hostage on a bus
    "Not gonna have a normal day if a homeless dude busts a nut on your forehead, at 8:30 in the morning. That's a wrap on the rest of your day." Conveniently leads into the AIDS/Monkey joke.
  8. The AIDS/Monkey Joke
    "Nobody fucks monkeys and people you idiot!!"