My Favorite Quotes From the Big Lebowski
I've seen the Big Lebowski probably close to 500 times. I watched it at least once a day, my first two years of college. So my favorite quotes aren't necessarily the ones that make the trailer. I don't watch it much anymore, maybe once or twice a year, but when I do these are the lines I'm quoting along with the movie. Requested by @kate81
- •"I'm just gonna go find a cash machine"The first time the Dude goes to the big Lebowski's house, he meets Brandt, and Brandt introduces him to Bunny while escorting the Dude out. Bunny propositions the Dude, saying "I'll suck your cock for $1,000, Brandt can't watch though or he has to pay $100." Brandt chuckles sheepishly and the Dude mumbles under his breath as he's walking out, "I'm just gonna go find a cash machine." (The Dude does not, however, actually locate an atm and return for illicit coitus.)
- •Walter's speech at the spreading of Donny's ashes. " Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo." (Continued 👇🏻)He died, like so many young men of his generation, before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
- •"She's gotta feed the monkey." The Dude explaining to the big Lebowski and Brandt, his new theory that Bunny kidnapped herself."New shit has come to light! And shit... man, she kidnapped herself. Well sure, man. Look at it... a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, she needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't get it, because... she wants more, man! She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
- •"Let me tell you something else. I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy is a fake. A fucking goldbricker. This guy fucking walks. I've never been more certain of anything in my life!"The Dude and Walter confront the big Lebowski now that they know Bunny kidnapped herself and the big Lebowski knew all along and sent the Dude with a ringer to give the Germans instead of the actual million dollar ransom. Walter thinks that the big Lebowski is lying about needing his wheel-chair because he's lied about everything else up to this point. The big Lebowski was not lying, however, and when Walter tries to force him to stand up he falls right to the ground.
- •"Obviously you're not a golfer"The movie starts as the dude returns home from bowling after a quick stop at the grocery store to write a check for $0.67 for milk. He walks in the door of his apartment and is attacked by a pair of thugs, sent by Jackie Treehorn, who have mistaken the Dude's identity and think he is the rich Big Lebowski. They open his bowling bag and dump it out expecting it to be a cash ransom, but it's just the bowling ball. They say "what the fuck is this?" "Obviously you're not a golfer" the Dude replies.
- •"It's down there somewhere, let me take another look."Jackie Treehorns thug is repeatedly dunking the Dude's head in the toilet and asking, "Where's the money Lebowski?!" "Where's the fucking money, shithead!?" Instead of trying to explain that they have the wrong guy, the Dude calmly says, "it's down there somewhere, let me take another look."
- •"Mr.Treehorn treats objects like women, man."After the Dude gets drugged and ejected from Jackie Trehorn's garden party, he gets picked up by the cops and interrogated by the Chief of Police of Malibu. The Dude is trying to explain that, while Jackie Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town, he's not the good guy that the Chief of Police is insinuating he is. Eventually, the Chief of Police gets frustrated and throws his coffee cup at the Dude.
- •"You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked did ya?!"The Dude and Walter are driving to give the German kidnappers the ransom money and Walter, the military guru, is taking it way too seriously. The Dude was supposed to go alone because the big Lebowski is paying him to potentially identify the kidnappers as the same thugs from his apartment. Walter had other plans. Walter "15mph dude your wheel! I roll out, double back, grab one of them and beat it out of em. The uzi!" Dude "Uzi?" Walter "you didn't think I was rolling out of here naked did ya?"
- •"Take the four dollars!"The Germans confront the Dude, Walter and Donny outside of the bowling alley. The Dude knows the Germans never actually kidnapped Bunny, but the Germans are here to collect the ransom money(1 million) and they've already lit the Dude's car on fire. After the Dude tells them he knows and that he doesn't have the million dollars, they agree to settle for the cash that he has on him, in exchange for the Germans not cutting off his johnson. The Dude has $4, almost $5, and pleads with them to take it
- •"Eight-year-olds, dude."Bowling rival Jesus Quintana confronts Walter and the Dude, explaining that Walter can't intimidate him like he did Smokey in the previous league game. Walter responds by reminding the Dude that Jesus is a registered sex offender and had to go door to door when he moved to Hollywood and explain to everyone that he exposed himself to an eight-year-old; and subsequently served time in Chino.