My Wife vs Olivia Benson
Who is the ultimate badass..?
- •I nicknamed my wife "CSI" very early on in our courtship because she knows everything and what she doesn't know she figures out based on clues like Robert Downey Jr. In the Sherlock Holmes movies, or the Terminator.
- •Olivia Benson needs help from Ice T and several other people attempting New York accents, and it still takes at least two commercial breaks before she's figured anything out.
- •My wife works with a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center and with the county to help foster youth and something else,maybe? I don't know how accurate that is, I tend to tune out when she talks about work because it's always so depressing. It's like living an SVU episode every night! Actually, I imagine that's what it would be like if I listened.
- •Olivia Benson NEVER catches anybody before they've committed a crime! When she does catch people, half the time there isn't enough evidence for Barba to get the conviction. Or,she takes two episodes plus a crossover with Chicago Fire and still only catch one of the three guys running the sex trafficking ring because the blonde girl went undercover.
- •My wife never rocked the pixie haircut. Not even during her lesbian "phase," which wasn't a "phase" because it was just freshman year and shit got a little carried away. ("Oh,you remember a story I told you six years ago but can't remember what I do every single day?!") I just made all of that up, except for the pixie haircut that Liv had season 3.
- •My wife balances her job with the county, her clients at the rehab and probably some other shit, while going to grad school and getting good enough grades to get on the deans list or honor roll or I dunno, whatever they do for good students before I stop paying attention. Look, it's not my fault football is on Monday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.
- •Listen, I didn't want to be the one to say it, but it has to be said; Olivia Benson is a much worse cop since she adopted baby Noah. Having something to live for really hinders her crime fighting ability.
- •Olivia Benson looks like she'll kick your ass.
- •My wife will actually kick your ass! (Or elbow you in the face, even if you're a bear and you just want to play a friendly game of 1 on 1 with the only other bear that owns a basketball uniform.)