People That I Am Going to Being John Malkovich

Inspired by @keonovak choosing to believe that BJM is real and once you find the password you can go inside people's heads and become them. These are the people I would Being John Malkovich. Beware beware beware.
  1. Mike Trout
    He's the best player in my favorite sport, on my favorite team, in the neighborhood I grew up in. And, he's just entering his prime. Yeah, I'd like to try that. Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich!!
  2. Alex Honnold
    He's pretty much the best rock climber in the world, ever. I've been known to climb a few rocks in my day but never anything close to this guys level. It would be awesome to see the world through his eyes, and to literally reach the heights he has. I will being John Malkovich you!
  3. Barack Obama
    Talk about senioritits... I could just ride out the last few months of the presidency, not make any major decisions, give a few speeches and vacation with Michelle over at Martha's Vinyard. Sign me up! Malkoviched!
  4. Brandon Boyd
    @ElDudetterino number 1 celebrity crush. He's also the lead singer of a damn good rock band. He's also an artist, an author, a surfer, a philanthropist and rocks a top notch man-bun. I will being John Malkovich you!
  5. Bill Simmons
    He basically has my dream job. Hosts a late night talk show, writes a snarky sports column and has a podcast that's supposed to be about sports and ends up being about so much more. Also, season tickets to the Clippers. Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich!!
  6. Brett Easton Ellis
    Hunter Thompson is dead so he's my favorite living author. You've probably seen the movies but they were books first; Less Than Zero, The Rules of Attraction, American Psycho and The Informers. Would be fun to kick the tires on that creative mind and see if I could get something published under his name. I will being John Malkovich you!
  7. David Bugliari
    Alyssa Milano's husband. He's an agent with CAA and apparently sold his soul to the devil, I mean how else do you get Alyssa Milano to marry you?! Malkoviched!