Streets I Have Lived on, Ranked by Potential to Buy a Lap Dance From a Stripper With the Same Name
🔈🔊🔉🚨Ladies and Gentlemen, open up your eyes, open up your mind and most importantly open up your wallets for our next dancer, the lovely ___________! 👏🏻👏🏻🚨🔉🔈
- •AliciaI would definitely buy a dance from Alicia. It's a nice, normal sounding name, she probably has a girl next door gimmick, not too much glitter. She probably dances to Aerosmith.
- •WillowI would buy a dance from Willow. It's not a super common name but it's not a stereotypical stripper name either. She definitely wears too much glitter and she probably has pig tails and she might even have a lollipop gimmick that you have to pay extra for.
- •HildaI would buy a dance from Hilda, but only after I've sat back and drank my two drink minimum Jack and cokes and another two shots of Jamison on the side while waiting for my friends to get bored so we can go somewhere else. She is most definitely blonde, wears the St.Paulie's girl dress and has perfect big, round, beautiful... eyes.
- •PinoI would reluctantly buy a dance from Pino, but only because she's the type of girl that just sits in your lap until you buy a dance or physically lift her off of you. She would like you to believe that you're helping her pay for college but she has no idea that she left the "t" off her name when she tells you that it's also her favorite wine.
- •AzaleaNot buying a dance even though she asks three times. Azalea is way to aggressive on the pole, I don't want that kind of anger on my lap. Also, way too much glitter.
- •MimosaShe's sweet but after a while she starts to give me a headache. No dance.
- •ResedaNamed after her hairline, no dance.
- •GalaxyDefinitely too much glitter.
- •FloridaDidn't quite understand how the stripper name generator works. Also, can't figure out how to get out of the fish nets. No dance.