Stuff My Wife Says. πŸ“

She's the best. #draftsmas
  1. β€’
    Now I know how people feel when they're waiting on me... and then I realize that I'm not pizza.
    She is perpetually late but also impatient, a difficult combo to reconcile... Especially if you are not pizza. πŸ•
  2. β€’
    Can I get a shot of vodka for my gazpacho?! We can call it vodspacho.
    In her defense, we were already drunk.
  3. β€’
    I didn't have that much, I spilled most of it on the couch.
    When I came home to find out "working from home" meant Netflix binging and finishing more glasses of wine than emails. Silver lining: my Christmas present was her paying to have our couches cleaned.
  4. β€’
    You look nice for a change!
    Followed by "that came out wrong, I just meant I didn't expect you to look so handsome..." Followed by "that might've come out wrong as well," followed by "you still want to take me on a date tonight😬?"