Based on true events
  1. •
    Not a good start.
  2. •
    Here's some free marriage advice, your wife will love hearing the phrase "step your game up bro."
    Try to mix it in on Valentine's Day to show her how much you care.
  3. •
    I smashed the entire box last night while she was out with her friends.
  4. •
    I waited a few minutes after saying "we're kinda like PB paddies" to see if she would say "good on their own, better together?" But no such luck.
    I also thought saying that would get an "awe" or "you're so sweet(see what I did there?)" or even an "I love you," but again, no such luck.
  5. •
    Let the record show that most of these texts were in rapid fire succession until I said "love you🤗"
    There was a 15minute delay of game before she responded, no little bubbles telling me she's responding or anything. This will be important when you see my response.
  6. •
    She gave me the silent treatment and then ruined my joke about it!
  7. •
    Moral of the story: don't come between a girl and her cookies.
    Even if you paid for them and even if you allowed for a 5 day grace period before eating them. Lesson learned.
  8. •
    One more thought: at the end, I was tempted to respond with "Savannah smiles are the LIMON ones, right?"