Things I'm Pretty Sure I Could Do If It Was an Emergency

Inspired by @BWN_7 and @ladyprofessor
  1. 1.
    Open heart surgery
    It's an emergency, right? Do you have any other options? Scalpel stat!! 😷
  2. 2.
    Land an F-14 Tomcat on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean.
    If and when Cougar loses his edge.
  3. 3.
    Perform an entire Red Hot Chili Peppers set in front of thousands of screaming, adoring fans.
    Without anyone realizing Anthony Keidis is backstage with an injured larynx.
  4. 4.
    Escape from the hospital, with amnesia, during a zombie apocalypse.
    In time to find @ElDudetterino and protect her before she gets zombified.
  5. 5.
    Kill the villain in any horror movie ever.
    Without tripping while running away or panic running up stairs to my certain doom.
  6. 6.
    Juggle three flaming chainsaws above the head of North West, without dropping any of them.
    While Kanye stares angrily at me and questions my life decisions... to an amazing beat.
  7. 7.
    Turn $200 into $10,000 at any table game or card table in Vegas.
    And get that ransom money to the mob before Big Tony cuts off any of @gd3 fingers.
  8. 8.
    Fill in for Jay-Z while he suffers from ED, on a night when Beyoncé really needs some stress relief from the exhaustive duties of being our queen.
    Now THATs an emergency.
  9. 9.
    Go back to 1984 and save Sarah Connor from the Terminator.
    Especially, but not limited to, the Emilia Clarke Sarah Connor.
  10. 10.
    Win an old fashioned duel.