Worst Dates I've Been On
It's been a while since I've had a bad date. I've been with my wife for 7 years, married the last 1.5years. All of these dating experiences bring back both good and bad memories, but most of all I just feel blessed that my wife was my reward after all my dating tribulations. Inspired by @brittscott and alcoholic beverages.
- •Don't date co-workers!I knew this, but continued to make the mistake of thinking "this time it's different." But, in fact, it was never different enough as 4 co-workers make the list. CW#1 was in high school which is the best time to date a co-worker, especially if you go to different schools. CW#2 was a tall blonde in her late twenties and I had just started working at my first real job after college. CW#3 wanted something from me that I save for only a select few people in my life and CW#4 could've been the one...
- •Don't do sequels!If you date someone monogamously for an extended period of time and it doesn't work out, there's a good chance it's not going to work out the second time around either, especially if the first date is a disaster. Two opening acts to a sequel make this list. Sequel #1 was as much like a romantic comedy as anything else in my life, ever. Sequel #2 was as much like a Disney princess fairytale as anything in my life, ever.
- •Worst date: co-worker #2We did the work flirt thing for a while, then at a company party started talking more seriously. Ended up back at her place, stayed in living room, make out only. Then, went on an actual date, ended up back at her place for full cable tv romantic drama style passionate make out with her legs wrapped around me pushed up against the wall. We move to the bedroom, I lay her on the bed, remove our remaining clothing and a baby sits up in the crib I only just noticed next to the bed!!! 🚫❌🚫👶🏼🚫❌🚫
- •Worst date: co-worker #2 (part 2)We worked together for 6 months, we spent several hours talking at our company Christmas party, went on a date and spent several hours talking and at no time during any of this did she mention that she had a baby!! Nothing against single mothers, I'm sure guys respond terribly 95% of the time you tell them that you have a child but you gotta let us know at some point before we're naked in the same room as the child. I couldn't do it. She's the hottest girl I've been naked with and still said no.
- •First worst date: co-worker #1I got my drivers license and the girl I had a crush on said yes when I asked her out. We didn't go to school together so this was the first time I got to hang out with her outside of work. We left from work but went to her house to drop off her car, but didn't go inside because she didn't want to introduce me to her parents. She lived in a really nice house in an area I wasn't familiar with. From her house to the restaurant I drove the wrong way down a one-way, twice! I was nervous and lost.
- •First worst date: co-worker #1(part 2)We had a great time and when we left I came out of the parking lot and immediately got pulled over. It turned out, her father was a high ranking police officer, saw her come home and leave with a guy they didn't know and had his buddies locate her and "put a scare into the guy." This was in the 90's when there was much less scrutiny on cops and scared straight was an acceptable deterrent. I was cuffed and in a cop car until they could "decide" if it was kidnapping. Pizza, ice-cream, kidnapping!
- •Worst(person) date: co-worker #3She was a very hot, she asked me out, it was too good to be true. She said she wanted to go to a bar and then back to her place. When we got to the bar she seemed distracted. After a drink she told me her ex is there, after two drinks she wants me to fight him. "He cheated on me, we broke up yesterday, I want you to beat him up." Listen, I'm all for defending my wife, family, friends but I'm not into picking fights to prove myself. Instead, she stood up and loudly called me a bitch and I left.
- •Worst first date: co-worker #4She continually pursued me even though I turned her down a few times because of my poor history with dating co-workers. We went to a bar after work. She invited a lot of co-workers because it was my birthday and a surprise party. They all bought me various shots, I got wasted. At some point I expressed my disappointment that it was a surprise party and not a real date. She liked that and we kissed and she drunk drove us back to her place(where my truck was), hit a sign, parked & invited me in.
- •Worst first date: co-worker #4(part 2)We finally got inside and into her bedroom and things start trending naked. But, I had to pee and there's no way I can hold it. I go to the bathroom and I'm peeing when it hits me, I also have to puke! No time to think, here it comes, I puke in the shower which causes me to lose my balance, still peeing and I fall into the shower and into my puke, pulling the shower curtain down on top of me. Worst-case scenario! She was cool about it but the mood was dead and I've never been more embarrassed.
- •Worst second first date: sequel #1When we first met I was a freshman in college, she was a senior in high school. She took me to prom, I took her virginity. We dated for a year and broke up. Fast forward five years, she's in law school, engaged to an attorney and back in town because her sister just got engaged to my best friend. We reconnect at the engagement party, hook up and don't talk again for a few months. She calls me out of the blue, she's in town and wants to meet up for a drink at some bar in some hotel. So I meet her
- •Worst second first date: sequel #1(part 2)She had a few drinks and spilled her guts to me about her engagement and how she's not sure he's the one. Then she drops the bomb, he's here in their hotel room and she'll go call off the engagement right now if I agree to start dating her(monogamously). I say no, which shocks her because she knew she was a great catch but it was too much commitment for my 24yr old self. My friend eventually calls off the wedding to her sister(not my fault) and things deteriorate quickly from there.
- •Worst no show date: sequel #2We met in Vegas, in college, it was love at first sight. She worked in oc and lived in la, I worked in la and lived in oc. Our lives eventually took us in separate directions, but we remained cordial. A few years later she was back in town and I invited her to a lakers game. She agreed but stood me up. Not only stood me up, but sent her friend in her place. Not in a funny rom-com way either, or a quirky buddy comedy. It was just awkward and I would've much preferred just being stood up.