HEY IT LOOKS LIKE MY DUMBASS DAD LEFT HIS PHONE LYING AROUND WHERE ANYONE COULD MESS WITH IT

  1. You'd think he'd be more careful, right?
  2. Especially since he's so fuckin proud of his job as the Hobby Lobby social media guy
  3. Which by the way is a much shittier job than being a partner at a law firm
  4. But I guess there's a price for fucking your partners wife, huh pop?
  5. Losing your job, losing your wife
  6. Mom says fuck you by the way
  7. Hey dad remember how you used to bust my balls about leaving my sneakers in the mud room and not on the closet?
  8. You said you were always tripping on hjem
  9. And I said, trying stepping over them
  10. And you got so mad you wouldn't let me borrow your Karmann ghia to take Eloise to the ring dance?
  11. Hey everyone @joannfabrics rules
  12. Shop there and not at lame ass Hobby Lobby
  13. Hobby Lobby has rats
  14. Dicks to you dad