1. I'd love to get a staff writing position on my favorite show Broad City
  2. Here are some episode ideas just in case someone in a position of power reads this
  3. Abbi needs adhesive google eyes for a project and goes to @michaelsstores looking for some and gets a staph infection after stepping on an old screwdriver someone left in the parking lot
  4. Illana gets a job at @joannfabrics and is disappointed to discover that they pay in rat bones instead of cash
  5. Illana and Abbi find redemption in the light of our lord and savior