My son Ebenezer is being bullied at school
- •Some of you might know that there's an occasional rivalry between this account and @joannfabrics
- •Recently @joannfabrics posted this EVERYTHING WE SELL IS 100% MADE IN AMERICA, UNLIKE THOSE COMMIE SPUNK BALLOONS AT HOBBY LOBBY
- •And the next day my precious son Ebenezer came home from school and told me that some of the other students had called him 'fart flavored slurpee Jr.'
- •He could barely finish massaging his mother and I, that's how upset he was
- •And massaging his mother and I after school is usually his favorite chore
- •So I hope you're happy, @joannfabrics
- •You've made a 32 year old boy so sad that he's thinking about leaving the police academy.
- •Someone should take a whole bunch of toads who died of natural causes and liquefy them and pour them into your ears
- •And then everyone will call you toad ears.