1. The Yarn Gospel is a document discovered by Hobby Lobby founder Elmo Hobblobby in 1971 that details our Lord's thoughts on and relationship with yarn.
  2. There are also sections dealing with birth control, the chewing of gum, and a few predictions regarding Burger King's Angriest Whopper
  3. The most important part is where Jesus says 'Be as yarn in all ye do, gentle yet binding'
  4. Sometimes people like to point out that yarn isn't all that binding
  5. "Yarn breaks easily," they say
  6. And to them I say
  7. Sounds like you've been buying your yarn at @joannfabrics
  8. And then sometimes after I say that I'll wink