The best and worst of my attempts to meet a woman through Tinder
  1. High
    Her picture was taken holding a pumpkin and standing in a pumpkin patch. I told her she was "gourd-geous." She continued talking with me.
  2. Low
    I asked a woman "How long can you hold your breath?" I intended to be playful. I came off murder-y. My follow up, "Sorry, I now realize that sounds murder-y," did not help.
  3. High
    Came across a gorgeous ex and courageously swiped left even though I was dying to know if she would swipe right or not.
  4. Low
    Came across my sister
  5. High
    Learned that my sister is bisexual
  6. Low
    Seriously considered changing my facial hair to get a date with a specific woman whose profile indicated a preference in that department
  7. High
    Found out being tall is super important
  8. Low
    Found out being classically handsome is also super important