WAYS IN WHICH JURASSIC PARK HAS INFORMED MY OWN LIFE DECISIONS
- •If it's heavy, it's expensive. Put it backThis applies to pianos, farm and domestic animals, and most philosophies.
- •They do move in herds.Women. Bankers. Crippling losses.
- •Life finds a waySee condoms, pulling out, and animals that eat their own young.
- •Their vision is based on movementReally any time you are in a jungle, a dark room, or dealing with someone wearing effective camouflage. Also relevant for those with astigmatism.
- •Thatcher bulked up his book with a bunch of fucking pictures.Cheaters often win. Thatcher didn't need to go to a death trap. His book was long as fuck. $$$$$$
- •You're alive when they start to eat youMosquitos. Lice. Your insecurities.
- •Shaving cream cans often make loud whirring/squeaking noisesAll things always
- •Fat human beings never make loud whirring/squeaking noisesAll things always
- •Don't gorge yourself on ice cream when there are velociraptors nearby. It's fucking catnip.This will be useful next year once Science has turned chickens into extremely pissed velociraptors.