My plans for the end of freshman year

my last day is tommorow, and to celebrate, I've prepared a list of things I'm planning on doing.
  1. Slap my chest
    This is the one jock thing I feel comfortable doing. You bet your ass I'm doing it
  2. Walking out
    Y'all know about the 0-12 goat squad, right? Well that team was the cavaliers, so I'm wearing my jersey, slam my hand against the floor while crying, and say " Cleveland! This one's for you, baby!" And leave. Like LeBron did last year. Note: I leave 20 minutes later than everyone else, no one will see this but me.
  3. Spike all my shit into the trash, like I'm throwing an enemy to the ground
    I've let my stuff pile up just so I can break the side of my trash bin with my papers and belongings from school. Not quite as cool, but part of the plan.
  4. Masturbate as many times as possible, one of the next few days.
    I've been holding it in, so my sack is ready to burst, and then make it so it'll take weeks to recover from nut #... However many times I can, I'll find out.
  5. Go on duckboat tour around boston
    The only thing I'm doing with somebody.