BABY NAMES MY WIFE HAS VETOED

My wife @aminam and I have a baby boy on the way to be born sometime around Halloween. We are coming up with lists of names to compare, and to hopefully find one mutually acceptable. Otherwise, our kid will be a weirdo with two first names...her reasons thus far are ridiculous:
  1. Koa
    This Hawaiian name means "fighter," but she said no because A) that's our yoga instructor's name and B) it's cultural appropriation (but I love the name)!
  2. Elijah
    This name means "the lord is God," but it reminds her too much of Frodo from the Hobbit...and he was "a weenie."
  3. Harold
    Too 1950ish sounding
  4. Groot
    Ok so you made it this far, so did she. Now that I have your attention, here is a hypothetical: wouldn't a baby Groot be so cute to have?
  5. Graham
    Crackers? Who knew I could incorporate a cat gif into a list about baby names!
  6. Frederick
    Too Prussian, and also because she already told me "no Halloween names." See: I'M NOT GOING TO WAR
  7. Jamal
    Too ethnically Egyptian sounding. BTW how did the Pyramids get built, Minions?
  8. Kamal
    Too ethnically Turkish sounding. No offense meant, we love your coffee.
  9. Karl
    Marx?, no, because....'Merica!