THINGS I LEARNED IN JAIL 🚨

  1. A pair of shoes, when stacked, can double as a pillow
  2. A 4 minute phone call is roughly 16.50USD
  3. PB&J > Cheese Sandwich. Always.
  4. If you are trying to communicate or send a parcel to someone in another cell, put your note/drugs in the shitty jail sandwich, place back in the sandwich bag, and slide on the floor from your cell to the desired destination. The sandwich+plastic bag provide just enough enertia for this.
  5. The floor is more comfortable that the bench
  6. If someone is smoking weed, the phones get taken away
  7. Apparently, you can smuggle cocaine in to jail under/behind your testicles
    And a great place to do coke is off of the floor, using a credit card, RIGHT before you go to sleep
  8. Slices of cheese are, apparently, a form of currency on Rhikers Island 💰
    * told this by someone who was heading to Rhikers island because they robbed a bank the week prior- really nice guy though. I was in central booking, not Rhikers island.
  9. All NYC apartments are massive castles of freedom for the 24 hours following your release.