STOCK FAKE PHONE CONVERSATIONS I HAVE WHILE WAITING ALONE IN PUBLIC SO AS NOT TO APPEAR LONELY
Waiting for friends outside restaurants, the movies, etc. If I don't do this, I stare off into the mid-distance and strangers ask if I'm okay.
- •"Mm, probably ten or twelve. I guess buy twelve just to be safe."
- •"Yeah, Jenna sent me a pic of the car. It's insane, yeah, it's amazing he can walk at all. Did- No, I'm visiting him tomorr- his mom is there now? Okay good."
- •"Thank you, yeah, thanks, the movie's going really well. So far we have Steve Harvey, John Leguizamo, and- Yeah right?! I love Spawn. And William Hung."
- •"I don't know. Honestly, probably buy fifteen to thirty. I think? Yeah, buy thirty just to be safe.
- •"No, you're- I can't really hear. It's- No, hello? You're breaking up. (Beat) What?! (Chuckle) No, I'm not breaking up with you. The phone. I couldn't hear. The phone is breaking up. I love you. I lurve you. Yeah, we should watch Annie Hall soon.