1. Charlie Chaplin Painting
    Bf9113a9 c7a4 4863 a5ce 5d6251cf6ba3
    The Tramp is basically a clown. There's a clown in here with me. I swear he dances side to side, twirling his cane, thinking about what my blood tastes like. Sometimes he jumps out of the painting and sits on my nightstand. I hate him.
  2. Evil Mom Photograph
    39e95851 97c9 479c 8038 84462ee21acd
    She's in this photo my father took. Just to the left of the bigger house. I swear she moves closer every couple minutes and then pops back into place when I open my eyes. She's the evil bizarro version of my sweet Jewish mother. I never want to know what happens when she reaches the frame. That's why I have this mountain of blow under my pillow and make lists at 2:15 in the morning.
  3. Ceiling Knives
    25e29d9a 9601 4230 ad12 3fbd803c843b
    I hate fans. This one gets closer and closer until it just about decapitates me. But I always open my eyes right before it does though.