TOP TEN LEAST TRAUMATIC WAYS TO BE KILLED BY AN ANIMAL

  1. 1.
    A panda you raised loves you so much it crushes you with a hug.
  2. 2.
    Suffocate under 37 golden lab puppies
  3. 3.
    Cat knocks poison off sill into pot of tomato bisque. You are none the wiser.
  4. 4.
    Evolved ape provides a lethal dose of a barbiturate upon your request for assisted suicide
  5. 5.
    Bitten by wolf. Death caused by complications turning into werewolf
  6. 6.
    Sexy praying mantis bites your head off after sex
  7. 7.
    World televised boxing match with a Russian kangaroo. He takes you in the 9th round. You're severely concussed and die in your sleep.
  8. 8.
    The once thought extinct pterodactyl grips you in his talons, lifts you high above the clouds and lets go, fulfilling your dream of flying moments before an instant splatter death.
  9. 9.
    You and your friends are swallowed whole by a blue whale. You have one last rager in its belly before drowning in bile.
  10. 10.
    Koala rips your throat out but who cares cause oh my god so cute a koala!