WAYS YOU COULD INCREASE YOUR VALUE AS MY ROOMMATE

  1. I could learn any number of vocational trades
    Namely woodworking, welding, and professional framing
  2. I could turn my bedroom into a farm.
    No more morning walks to Erewhon. Just hang a left into my room for an organic free range egg and some fresh chives
  3. I could stop taking money off your desk when you're in the shower
    Probs owe you just shy of two grand lol sorry but stop leaving money on your desk?
  4. If either of my parents are elected president
    Free Air Force One rides to Disney World or sometimes maybe Japan. Weekly training with Ron Butterfield, head of the Secret Service.
  5. I could become a celiac also
    We'd share gluten free shopping lists and recipes, a scenario I imagine you dream about always
  6. Quit the saxophone