REASONS WHY BUTTON FLY JEANS EXIST

The button fly seems to be garbage pant technology at first glance. But there's more to it than meets the eye.
  1. There's a global zipper shortage
    Zipper farms have suffered lower yields over the past few years.
  2. An assembly line worker played a prank, and nobody noticed.
    Charles was sick of working at Levi's, stuck a few extra buttons on every pair of pants to get fired, and has since been promoted.
  3. It's an abstinence-only pilot program
    By the time you get all four buttons undone, the mood has passed.
  4. Because, Obama
    Of course.
  5. Global Warming
    Suggested by   @kate81
  6. Your legs look like they're wearing a jean jacket! 👕👖
    Suggested by   @celeste
  7. My parents go to bed at like 10:00 and a loud zipper might wake them up
    Suggested by   @ZachWetzel