THINGS ROOMMATES SAY THAT WE KNOW ARE LIES

Living together is hard.
  1. I don't know where _____ is.
    "I know where it is. I stole it."
  2. I'm just soaking my dishes.
    "I'm hoping at some point you'll just wash these for me."
  3. I'll get you the rent next week.
    "I'm moving out next week and you'll never see me again."
  4. My girlfriend is stopping by.
    "My girlfriend is moving in and she has a puppy I'm not going to tell you about until it goes to the bathroom in the common area."
  5. It's not what it looks like!
    "It's what it looks like 😳"
  6. "Of course i didn't eat your _________"
    Suggested by   @Lisa_Fav
  7. "I thought I bought the toilet paper last time."
    Suggested by   @hh12995
  8. "We'll tooootally keep it down now, promise."
    Suggested by   @thatssoayesha