HOW I GOT IN GREAT SHAPE FOR A MOVIE

  1. Convince yourself that not enjoying life like a normal human is worth the 3 seconds you will be shirtless on camera
  2. Find healthy substitutes for your favorite snacks. Instead of dozens of onion rings, have a piece of trident gum
  3. Make a "thinspiration" board that has pics of Christian Bale in the Machinist, Fassbender in Hunger, Emma Stone in Birdman, any skeleton
  4. Watch a genocide documentary every morning first thing (Shoah, The Act of Killing, Nanking)
  5. Lift heavy weights at your gym and make super loud noises when you drop them
  6. Ask your parents to send you some of your clothes from middle school and throw out all your current clothes so you have to fit into them
  7. Don't eat after 7pm