Things I Look for in a Guy

Some of the things are more important than others, but I do notice.
  1. He is a feminist.
    He doesn't necessarily have to embrace the label, but he needs to at least talk the talk and walk the walk.
  2. He has a college degree.
    From a legit, four-year college. Grad school degree a plus. I do not want to date someone who is currently an undergrad, especially if they're an undergrad where I work.
  3. He is liberal.
    I can't do conservative, especially Tea Party conservative.
  4. He reads.
    How many books does he own? A person without books is not to be trusted. Bonus points if he has women authors listed among his favorite.
  5. He listens to good music.
    We don't have to agree on it all, but the less country music, the better.
  6. He likes to sing.
    Not necessarily in public, but at least be comfortable in the car or around me.
  7. He has read Harry Potter (if not, is willing to read or listen to the series)
    Have books and audiobooks I'm willing to lend.
  8. He keeps up with current events.
    Does not have to know all of the on-goings, but at least browses the headlines on a regular basis.
  9. He is sex positive.
    Not negative about sex. No shaming. Open to communicate/talk about sex and not just rely on facial expressions. He knows about the importance of consent. As Amy Poehler says, "If he don't eat pussy, keep steppin'."
  10. He is thoughtful.
    He wouldn't get me a gift card for Christmas or my birthday. He would surprise me with something awesome/weird/geeky from time to time. If necessary, he would consult my family, friends, or colleagues for information or assistance.
  11. He doesn't do guns.
    I'm not comfortable with guns. I don't want them around, even if they are locked up.
  12. He loves animals.
    My pets are my babies and I treat them like family. I need someone who understands that.
  13. He doesn't hunt.
    I don't do hunting. I don't like hunting. Shoot animals with cameras, not with guns.
  14. He appreciates the outdoors, but is not outdoorsy.
    I am not camping every single weekend.
  15. He is secure in his masculinity.
    He doesn't freak out at discussion of menstruation or avoid the aisle with tampons and maxi pads. He doesn't feel a need to be violent in order to prove something.
  16. He is handy.
    He knows how to do some house repairs and some car stuff. I can do things as well (I'm not helpless by any means), but it would be nice if he brought his own skills to the table.
  17. He knows how to clean and keep a house.
    I want someone willing to do their share of chores without being asked (a fantasy, I know). But at least someone who might trade off every other load of dishes and laundry and stuff. Not someone who expects to only do the once-a-month type chores. AND he knows how to clean without my having to teach him.
  18. He goes to the doctor when sick.
    And he doesn't turn into a big baby when sick. I shouldn't have to make his appointment for him and force him to go.
  19. He thinks I'm sexy.
    I could look my absolute worst and he'd still want some of that. He doesn't really consider other women because I am more than enough for him. I mean, I'm realistic. People watch porn (myself included), but I want him to want me.
  20. He is secure about his body.
    This is sort of hard to put into words. It means he doesn't think he has to wear a shirt in the pool regardless of the state of his body. It means that he realizes his pelvis is a distinct entity from his torso.
  21. He watched or is willing to watch Parks and Recreation.
    The brilliance of Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope must be seen!
  22. He is cool with my family
    Spending the holidays (at least part of them) with my family is important to me, especially since I don't get to see them very often.
  23. He likes to play card games and board games.
    But is not a super-competitive dick about it.
  24. He has a similar temperament to mine.
    I don't want to go out all of the time. Introverts unite!
  25. He doesn't mind staying in
    My idea of a great time would be lying in bed together and watching bad movies (occasionally commenting MST3K style).
  26. His answer to "Is being overweight a deal breaker?" isn't "Yes" or "No, unless they were obese."
    I'm fat. I won't be fat for much longer, but it makes me question how into looks he is. Looks change.
  27. He understands my constraints.
    Whether it is related to my career or physical constraints (i.e., my feet issues), he gets it and he doesn't think less of me.
  28. He is not a dick about money.
    Frugality is good to a certain extent, but there is a difference between being wise with your money and being a miser. If he's wanting me to line my purse with napkins so that I can take the chips from a Mexican restaurant home - that is not cool.
  29. He doesn't threaten me
    I once had a guy threaten to hurt my feelings, saying that he knew how to really hurt people because he took note of their vulnerabilities. All this because I joked that he was old (he was two years older than me).
  30. He has a similar sense of humor to mine.
    Dark, dry, witty... Some stand-up comedy is better than others.
  31. He has a working car.
    I do not care so much about the type of car it is. Preferably he does not use the car as a symbol of or substitute for his penis.
  32. He has a career.
    Preferably a position that he enjoys and is not constantly stressed out or complaining about.
  33. He doesn't want kids.
    I don't want kids. It would be a problem if he does or think he might.
  34. He has his shit together.
    He has an idea about the direction of his life and goals and stuff.
  35. He is not bat-shit crazy
    We all have our little quirks. I don't need someone who I have to walk on eggshells around.
  36. He has a requisite amount of his own stuff (more than two bath towels, hand towels, flatware and dishes).
  37. He respects me.
    Enough said.
  38. Ability to talk shit with me
    It's not a pleasant thing to consider, but he has to be able to say something like "I think that was the dumbest person I've ever met in my life" about someone.