HOW TO RAISE YOUR DAUGHTER RIGHT IF YOUR REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE FAILS TO GET ELECTED
- •Tattoo a giant red R on her forehead.Tattooing women is in the Bible. Somewhere.
- •Two words: Chastity BeltThey're totally legal! Also in the Bible (probably).
- •Always handle her babysitting money and make sure her cut is 70%.Not only does it prepare her for the workplace, it's just the right thing to do.
- •Teach her all her sexual and reproductive health questions can ONLY be answered by an old white man.Because they know best.
- •Tell her rape is wrong, but if it happens it will probably be her fault.She can also talk with any old white man if she has further questions.
- •You know what? Just refer her to any old white man for EVERYTHING and your job is done!