THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT ON A DATE WITH LATE SHOW'S JON BATISTE

  1. He's constantly looking to see if he's on camera two.
  2. He jumps up on chair and dances when waiter brings food.
  3. He stares at you blankly when you ask what time it is, then says "YEAH!"
  4. He takes a breadstick and uses it like a melodica. A fucking breadstick!
  5. You whisper to him you're feeling horny and he yells out "CORNDOGS!"
  6. At the club he starts dancing with his hands in the air and eyes closed only to call you hours later to come pick him up three counties away.