In no particular order.
  1. My Name
    It’s Jennifer. Not Jenny, not Jenn – unless you ASK me and I say ok. There are like five people in the world that can call me Jenny. And you most likely aren’t one of them. Jennifer. Get it right.
  2. People who don’t read an entire message/email/job description.
    I'm a recruiter, and I work with a lot of sub-vendor companies and I do what I can to specify – I’m talking crystal clear here – when I can and cannot work with them. When I CAPITALIZE, bold, underline *and* italicize something… it probably means you should read it!
  3. Self-righteous drivers.
    I live in Chester County, which is the ignorant tight ass capital of the world. Typically, the nicer your car, the bigger of a dick you are. And yellow license plates? 80% of them come from Cracker Jack boxes because those fuckers have NO IDEA how to drive. Follow the rules of the road or stay home because when you hit me, it’s sure as hell NOT going to be my fault.
  4. Whatever the opposite of helicopter parents are.
    A store, a restaurant, a doctor’s office… none of these places provide free babysitting. Nor do I want to be dodging your children while figuring out what my next book is or what I’m going to have for dinner. And when the same spawn runs into me and falls down – that sucks, maybe you should control your kid. It’s not my responsibility – as one mother told me in target when her brat ran head first into my cart – to watch out for your child. That’s your job.
  5. People who don’t follow rules.
    I live in a development with multiple communities. We have these amazing inventions called sidewalks. Perhaps you’ve heard of them? They are for WALKING. Don’t walk in the street – especially if you’re walking with a stroller or a dog. Although, I’d go more out of my way to not hit a dog. I like dogs. Don't walk at night, wearing black, on the street, & then be surprised when you almost get hit by a car. When you park in front of a no parking sign? Don’t be shocked when you get a ticket.
  6. Bicyclists
    If you want exercise, don’t do it on a main road. And for fucks sake, don’t ride IN THE ROAD. Take side roads, use bike lanes, don’t bike where you shouldn’t. You don’t pay taxes, you don’t have a license or a registration, you can’t ride as fast as a car, get the fuck out of my way.
  7. Bicyclists - part 2
    We have a local trail with crossings across busy roads. The police were nice enough to pave the trail, and put up lights for the crossings… with a HUGE NEON YELLOW sign that says push the button, wait for the light to turn green, and THEN cross. That means if you don’t do these things and you get hit by a car… it’s your fault. And yet, no one does it. The amount of “near accidents” is astounding. And the bikers then give the drivers the finger… yeah, ok, I’ll get right on caring about that.
  8. People who can't park/drive
    There are these fun lines… solid white lines mean that’s where you park. The lines aren’t a suggestion. Park in ONE spot. And if you’ve got a penis, don’t park in the spot with the sign for pregnant women. And if you don’t have a kid with you (and you’ve got a penis) you can’t park in the family spots. You aren’t important. The $80,000 sports car you got to compensate for your failure in the bedroom doesn’t give you any additional rights. You just look like a dick.
  9. People who can't park/drive - part 2
    Speaking of lines… when driving, stay in ONE lane. Dotted lines mean you can change lanes. Solid white lines and intersections? Don’t change lanes here. It’s kind of illegal.
  10. Impatience
    People who complain when they’re waiting in line. People who cut in line. People who cut in line in traffic because they’re too important to wait. People who then ignore the protests from the people who have actually been waiting. There’s a special circle in hell for them.
  11. Impatience - part 2
    I was at a store one day & this old woman – old enough to know better – was complaining SUPER loudly at how long it was taking. Everyone was feeling it, it was right after work, there was one cashier working… but the girl was super apologetic, they were short staffed because the other lead cashier was at a family FUNERAL. So then, this woman gets up to the line, doesn’t have anything ready, decides after everything is rung up to argue about prices, that she wants to write a check… really?
  12. Closed-mindedness
    Don’t hate me because I don’t share your political views. We get along 10 months out of the year and then everyone loses their shit for the election. Vote for who you want to and I’ll vote as I choose. Don’t get into a shouting match with me. And gay marriage? Who cares? Go ahead, marry who you want. It doesn’t affect me. Just don’t try to get me to convert – religion, sexuality, political party, whatever – and we’ll be fine.
  13. Giving suggestions when none have been asked for.
    You don’t like my hair? Thanks, but I do. You think you how I should plan my wedding? If you’re not paying, shut up. You make snide comments about how I live my life? Yours isn’t much better sweetheart, so don’t judge until you figure out your own shit. Go ahead and talk about me on your own time but don’t let me hear it.
  14. This app (an extra for good measure)
    Why can each sub thread only be 500 characters?!? I can't adequately express my frustrations - which my therapist says is helpful - in only 500 characters!!!