HOW TO NAME-DROP AS EFFECTIVELY AS MY GOOD FRIEND BARACK OBAMA

Oh you didn't know that Barry's an effective name-dropper? You must not be very close to him then
  1. Bad: "I was watching the show Girls, which stars Lena Dunham, and I really enjoyed it."
    Good: "I love girls. Lena Dunham is a girl. A girl friend. My best friend. She loves me. She is love. We are all Lena Dunham. I am Lena Dunham."
  2. Bad: "Hannah Horvath just isn't likable enough for me to root for her."
    Good: "Hannah Horvath is based on me. Hannah Horvath's father is based on me. Jemima Kirke is based on me."
  3. Bad: [Kermit the Frog voice] "My friend Lena Dunham would love the shirt you're wearing."
    Good: That, but in a regular voice
  4. Bad: "Storm's a' comin"
    Good: "Lena Dunham loves me so much that she recently applied to legally change her name to Me Dunham. Then I applied to legally change my name to Eduardo Popsicle, and Lena Dunham withdrew her application and submitted a new application to legally change her name to Eduardo Popsicle. Then I applied to legally change my name to Lena Dunham, and Lena Dunham withdrew her second application."
  5. Bad: "I am a girl."
    Good: "I am a Girls."
  6. Bad: "I know you were just trying to help him, but you really haven't done him any favors."
    Good: "I know you were just trying to help him, but you really haven't Dunham any favors."
  7. Bad: "I'm a huge Lena Dunham-head"
    Good: "Lena Dunham is a huge me-head"
  8. Bad: "This song reminds me of a joke my friend Lena Dunham told me."
    Good: "This song reminds me of a joke my friend [pull signed photo of Lena Dunham from pocket, hold it up with one hand, point at it with other hand] told me."
  9. Bad: "Anyone see the New Girl episode last night?"
    Good: "Anyone see the new Girls episode last night?"
  10. Bad: "Hello."
    Good: Go to medical school. Become a virologist. Create a virus deadly enough to kill everyone on earth. Vaccinate only yourself and Lena Dunham and one other person. Release the virus. Wait for everyone besides you and Lena Dunham and the third person to die. Then, when you say to the third person, "Oh I'm grabbing lunch with someone later," it will automatically mean Lena Dunham. You won't even have to say her name!
  11. Bad: "I do not personally know B.J. Novak."
    Good: "B.J. Novak sometimes comments on my Lists, but to be fair the last item in most of my Lists is about him."