Random End-of-Semester Comments

I'm a professor at a small, Midwest, liberal arts college. The comic material is endless
  1. "Professor-you are the bomb.com"
    Thanks...just don't say this on a plane
  2. "I feel like we are the wonder twins! Shape of...a frustrated professor. Form of...a holistic advisor 👊🏼"
    My PM to a colleague regarding a problem student
  3. "if only we could be an eagle with a bucket of water. instead, we have to carry around the dead weight of a slacker"
    His response to me
  4. "You screwed me over"
    Email from a student who failed my class. Didn't make one change to a major paper draft from 6 weeks ago.
  5. "Screw you"
    What I wanted to respond to the student, but did not.
  6. "Imma come by to chop it up"
    *Refers to student-to-faculty translator*. Oh, he wants to talk.
  7. "Hey home slice! Can I call you that? Because I feel like we are in *that * place in our student-professor relationship."
    Sure, whateves, home skillet.