Having A Seizure My Pov
Some people with epilepsy have warning signs that a seizure is soon coming. I am not one of those. There's nothing- just a sudden blackout. Like most epileptics I'm confused after, unaware of what's just happened, and frankly wondering what the fuss is all about. Thought I'd share with you what it looks like from my fuzzy-headed brain.
- •I stop talking mid-sentence because for the life of me I can't find the next word.As much as I wish this gave me more lead time, this happens only about two seconds before a seizure.
- •Everything goes black.I don't feel a thing, nothing hurts, I simply 'go dark'.
- •I'm on the floor.Suddenly I'm on the ground. Typically I am surrounded by very concerned looking people and yet all I think is I've just woken up.
- •It's hard to see.Shadows cover my vision for awhile after a seizure making visual contact with anyone or anything is very hard.
- •The puking begins.It's not pretty but very common. Right after a seizure, full stomach or not, there will be throwing-up. This happens to be the best way to tell if it was a seizure or if I passed out, I also have anemia, so it does happen sometimes. However an upset stomach is a sure fire sign it was a seizure. My apologies to anyone this grossed out.
- •The 'Filter' is off.Post seizure it's very hard to focus. At this point I'm surrounded my well meaning people, asking important medical questions but getting me to answer them is damn near impossible. After a seizure two days ago all I wanted to tell my neurologist about was my upcoming Halloween costume plans.
- •"I had a seizure?"Thankfully I never remember my seizures or that I even had any at all. For the people that kindly take on the task of keeping an eye on me for the 24 hours after one this has to be one of the most frustrating parts of their day. I keep trying to get up and move around but confused as to why I'm so dizzy. The poor souls have to keep reminding me why.
- •Muddled-Headed Mess.The brain is in repair mode so I'm not exactly at my best here. I forget words, will ramble on about the strangest topics, and will often make no damn sense at all. I've been told that everyone just nods, pretending to listen, and lets me talk.
- •All my muscles ache.With all the spasms that happen when I have a seizure my body feels like I just ran a marathon, one I didn't train for at all.
- •Nap time NOW.Like I mentioned before, the brain is trying to fix the mess which often means I will fall asleep at a moment's notice. One minute I'm talking, the next I'm snoring away like a lumberjack.
- •24 hours later I'm back.Unless I had multiple seizures, after twenty four hours I'm back to about 95% operating capacity. I finally understand what happened, why I have the bruises, where that day went, etc.
- •Embarrassment sets in.While I know everyone around me understands, it's still embarrassing. Especially if it happened somewhere public. I'm not alone here, there isn't an epileptic I know that doesn't have at least one story where they felt the same way afterwards.