QUESTIONS MY MOM ASKED AFTER "STAR WARS"

(Involves mild spoilers, I suppose.)
  1. "That wasn't Keira Knightley, was it?" ("No.") "It wasn't her little sister? Or someone related to her? They talk in exactly the same way." (".... No.")
  2. "So Keira Knightley got ~the force~ somehow and .... we're just supposed to say 'Sure, fine' ?" ("Uh, yeah.")
  3. "What was the name of the little machine? I liked the little machine."
  4. "How do they come up with these names? Who comes up with them?"
  5. "So Luke is Harrison Ford's son?" ("No...") "But I thought the whole point is Harrison is going to find his son?" ("He was, but that's Adam Driver.") "And we're supposed to think Adam Driver looks like he's related to Harrison Ford?"
  6. "Didn't you think the Diet Coke tasted funny? I couldn't drink mine."
  7. "And why does everyone care about the lightsabers so much?"
  8. ("Did you realize the evil red-haired guy was the guy from 'Brooklyn'?") "No, he wasn't. You're wrong. Are you sure?"