DIFFERENT TYPES OF BUTTS
- •Bubble butt9 year old Jared loves the bubble butt, it's fun, bouncy, and pays homage to the numbing mindless activity that is blowing bubbles. Bubble butts are exactly what they sound like, two bubbles forming one magnificent bubble.
- •Shelf buttThis is one of my favorites. A shelf butt is rare find. In order to qualify as a shelf butt one must visually flip the girl upside down and examine if her butt, when inverted, would be able to balance an object on it. Hence serving as a shelf.
- •Honky tonk be-donk-adonkTwo words: Daisy Dukes. Envision Jessica Simpson in the Dukes of hazards. Honky tonk be-donk-adonk's are best described as tight butts with a slightly wider frame as opposed to a depth-ier frame like the bubble butt.
- •A buttThere's nothing crazy special about "A butt" but there's also nothing necessarily wrong with an "A butt" either. They're just there, they have some life but don't really have much else..
- •Long-Ass buttLong-Ass butts are few and far between. They cover a lot of ground... Literally. The lower back just kind of morphs into the butt and goes and goes and goes! Until the bottom of the butt is one with the calfs. This is a very model type butt.
- •Squat buttThe squat butt is by far the most respectable butt out there. It is only achieved through hard work, determination, sweat, and a lot of guys gawking towards the squat machines at the gym. These butts are usually firm, and almost always fashioning a pair of leggings/yoga pants with out a long top covering it. Props to the girls out there with squat butts
- •Dat! Ass!Dat Asses are the kinds that take 3 or 4 takes to really comprehend. Dat asses are usually genetic and really encompass the phrase "I got it from my momma!" Dat asses usually have so much jiggle and bounce leggings and yoga pants should be considered underwear! Things are always visible through leggings and yogas on dat asses.
- •Low ridersLow riders are a phenom. They start like a "long-ass, but quickly transform into a bubble butt. However the bubble is only at the bottom of the butt. These butts were made for twerking.
- •Boob buttThe boob butt is hard to describe. The appearance of a boob butt is irrelevant. The boob butt is called what it is purely based off how it feels. When a boob butt is given a nice squeeze it is hard to tell if your squeezing a boob or a butt. It's a beautiful, yet not visual thing.