Reasons if would be weird to go about my day like my dog...

  1. To eat from a bowl with no hands.
    I might as well enter a pie eating contest at our local County fair! "It's was a total barforama!" (Quick, name that movie!)
  2. Spontaniously chasing a squirrel through my yard.
    My neighbors would think I am more bat shit cray than they currently do. And that squirrel, he doesn't mean any harm. He's just trying to get a nut, to move that butt.
  3. Sniffing around the yard to find the ideal place to poop.
    I have never felt compelled to visit every stall on an individual basis making sure the bowl is at the preferred height, the seat is not at a cringeworthy temperature and the water is aqua marine. The choice is as simple as a feet check and if there is creative graffiti to read!
  4. Wondering why my tail is constantly following me.
    That must be how Kim Kardashian feels all of the time.
  5. TONGUE BATHS!