A brief list of offenses, more to come
  1. Scroll through my phone for way too long to find the best picture of each of my kids when someone asks
  2. Limit their screen time as much as possible, yet find it fine for me to watch anything on Bravo at any given time
  3. Utter the phrase "Hay is for horses."
  4. Tell them to say hi when they meet people, even though experience has taught me that this never, ever, ever works
  5. Order pasta with butter at any establishment with a kitchen (Also, pasta with butter is delicious)
  6. Ask for permission to shower
  7. Pee with the bathroom door open because no privacy is a default. This is awkward at dinner parties.
    Suggested by @mallofamanda
  8. Referring to yourself in the third person. I do this more in one week with kids than the rest of my life without.
    Suggested by @douglasjsellers