WALGREENS TONIGHT

On a mission to buy 2 gift cards for two of my employees...
  1. I walked through the doors of the store and was greeted warmly with a boisterous "Welcome to Walgreens!"
  2. That was a bit much Cashier Guy.
  3. I quickly locate the gift card racks and grab Starbucks and Fandango cards.
  4. I head to the register but I notice the movie rack. With all those multiple movie packs.
  5. Who needs those?
  6. But Twister and The Perfect Storm? Two of my mom's favorites. Together in one pack? Amazing deal!
  7. And 4 Elvis movies? I've never seen any Elvis movie. Maybe I should start with this 4 pack for $7.99?
  8. 4 Denzel movies? You can never get enough Denzel!
  9. The best of Meryl Streep? If Billy Eichner was here, he'd be screaming at me to get this.
  10. Jennifer, you don't need any of this. Go check out. Now.
  11. Oh nice, only one person in line.
  12. Shit. She literally has about 50 tiny items in her tiny cart.
  13. Who buys this much crap at Walgreens?
  14. Is there anything besides crap to buy at Walgreens?
  15. The woman looks to be between 65-70. She has long bleached blonde hair that is in need of deep conditioning.
  16. She has on head to toe leopard print.
  17. And a long black trench coat.
  18. And a black cowboy hat.
  19. And bright red lipstick.
  20. Trench Coat Grandma is going to be a while.
  21. Time to go peruse the As Seen on TV display to kill time.
  22. Coin counter. Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Cutter. Urine Gone.
  23. Nothing I can't live without.
  24. Overhear Trench Coat Grandma checking out and explaining what should be buy one, get one half off.
  25. Her basket looks empty, so I head over to get in line behind her.
  26. She asks Cashier Guy if he's headed to Oregon for the holidays.
  27. That's nice. They know each other pretty well. She must be a regular.
  28. He says yes, he's leaving tomorrow.
  29. Flying on Southwest she asks?
  30. He can't remember, but the flight is out of the small airport.
  31. Well that has to be Southwest she replies.
  32. Then she proceeds to tell him Southwest has never, ever had a plane crash.
  33. Cashier Guy looks at me.
  34. I look at him.
  35. I say, "I'd knock on some wood ASAP".
  36. He tells me he has a wood shop and he'll do it when he gets home.
  37. I'm actually hoping he does knock on that wood.
  38. Trench Coat Grandma compliments my sweater.
    Amazingly this is the 6th compliment on it today.
  39. I look at the Cashier Guy's monitor and see her total.
  40. Do a double take.
  41. Yep, that's right.
  42. $175.
  43. At Walgreens.
  44. She swipes her discount card and the total decreases to a respectable $150.
  45. She pays, wishes us both a Merry Christmas, and leaves.
  46. I hurriedly pay for my two gift cards.
  47. As I'm doing this, Cashier Guy plays with them pretending to do card tricks.
  48. Cashier Guy sure has a lot of energy.
  49. As I walkout side I see Trench Coat Lady loading her car.
  50. Huh.
  51. She's the one driving that white Jaguar sitting out front.
  52. Lesson learned. Expect the unexpected at The Wall.
    P.S. Say a prayer for Cashier Guy on his Southwest flight to Oregon tomorrow!