I Went to a Wahlburgers
After learning about Wahlburgers from @bjnovak only a couple weeks ago, it seemed like it was fate that brought me face to face with one in the Toronto airport. This was my experience.
- •Because I was in Canada, the menu was in both French and English. Part of me couldn't help but think a group of brothers from Dorchester would have some very impolite things to say about this happening to their menu. (What are we? Fucking fairies? Fucking French fairies?)Maybe the brothers Wahlberg are more progressive than I think? But I doubt it.
- •Now it was six in the morning so an argument could be made that this is not the time for burgers. Then I realized one of the Wahlberg boys would counter that argument by making a fart noise with their hands. That was hard to argue with, so I ordered.
- •I went with "Donnie's fave." Which is a BBQ Bacon Burger. The manager working there assured me this was a good choice. And that because of the bacon it made for a good breakfast.
- •While I waited for my burger I looked around and noticed some things. First of all they had Wahlburgers the TV show playing on a loop. I had never seen the show.
- •How is it that everyone isn't constantly talking about the fact that one of the biggest movie stars in the world is often on a basic cable reality show? That seems like an insane thing that we've all just sort of shrugged and allowed.
- •Speaking of Mark. His "fave" on the menu isn't even a burger! At first I was so furious. What a betrayal from one of our Hollywood heroes! (Who has definitely never been involved with a hate crime or anything...) I mean if he can't stand by their burgers why should I eat one?
- •But then I realized how this actually meant the opposite. Because Mark had been honest about his preference, I could really trust the quality of the menu. Because that's a bold stroke. Only a man whose restaurant serves great burgers would have the balls to not even pick a burger as his "fave."
- •Also amazing is that Mark's mom Alma (thanks Google!) really wants you to know she likes that chicken.(It's cut off but "Alma's Favorite Chicken" has a flag next to it declaring it "Alma's Fave.")
- •The workers at Wahlburgers were very nice. Their refrigerator was making a lot of noise and the mechanic couldn't come into fix it till 9. But they handled that situation with aplomb and class.
- •My burger arrived. I ate it while watching the family talk about the Boston marathon on a TV. (I assume they do this in every episode?)
- •It was good. Donnie is good at picking burgers. If Donnie Wahlberg tells you to eat a burger one day, do yourself a favor and listen.
- •I give it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Out of a possible ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ (The refrigerator WAS very noisy.)