The 7 Stages of Dodgy Sinuses.

I'm on the other side of a sinus episode. 4th this year (WATAF) universe. My response has been consistent each time.
  1. Shock
    Your head starts to feel like this piece of art and you do not know what is happening or why it's happening. You think that maybe it's been a late night of something PS: (incredible art by Johnson Tsang)
  2. Denial.
    Your nose is pouring out of your face. You convince yourself it's Hayfever despite the fact you are London's Hayfever early indicator and have suffered for last three months and this does not feel like it. Nevertheless you double up on the Benadryl PLUS (the plus is important, Hayfever veterans know plain Benadryl doesn't work) convincing yourself that this will sort it. ❌ You think back to the sore throat & you thought you successfully fought last week & conclude they are not connected.
  3. Anger.
    The very blocked nose happens. You lose it. 😤 You cannot breathe or think and you just want to breathe and sleep in a dark room with no noise and why is there drilling outside? Is the intense headache because of drilling or pressure from my angry sinuses? Why do my teeth hurt? There is only one use for this fugly plastic container which only comes out in moments like this where steaming is a possibility.
  4. Bargaining.
    You have inevitably ran out of tissues and have had to crawl to the newsagents to replenish supplies. The only soft kleenex they have are these misogynistic tissue boxes which you buy cause beggars cannot be choosers and the nearest supermarket is so far and you need giant tissues that can do the job. Bloody MANSIZE why can't they just call them giant? 😡
  5. Depression
    Anything with a screen hurts. You cannot breathe and because you cannot breathe you cannot sleep. Head is punching you from the inside so you lie in the dark and listen to your favourite podcast all whilst trying to drop kick that fever. Thanks for being there for me #DeathSexMoney 🙏🏾
  6. Testing
    With dodgy sinuses, you throw shit at it and hope that something lands. Steaming head with eucalyptus and mint in that dreadful plastic container? Check. Drinking Apple Cider Vinegar neat because the Internet said so? Check. Nasal rinsing (please don't google this please) Check. Hot water-lemon-ginger-garlic & turmeric. Check. Googling Alkalol to see if it's sold in UK? Check. Spending time on sinus forums before photo sensitivity kills you off? Check. This is the most brutal stage for me.💦
  7. Acceptance.
    Either you get better or you nearly die and need antibiotics (which apparently don't work but they do sometimes) but you'll take anything just to go back to life before sinuses. This also involves fight with GP who is obvs reluctant to prescribe meds. Fight with doc: 1.🏋🏿 Antibiotics obtained: 21. The END.