TODAY'S COMMUTE BY THE NUMBERS

  1. Time to drive 6.2 miles: 35 minutes
  2. Ladies putting on makeup in traffic: 1
  3. Number of times that lady almost rear-ended me: 8
  4. Drivers reading the newspaper: 0
    I didn't see Henry this morning. Henry isn't his real name. I don't know what his name is. But I've named him Henry. I see him 3 days per week. He rests the Washington Post on his steering wheel. And he drives. My backstory for Henry is that he and his wife used to read the paper together every morning over scones. Then one day, she left him. Now it's too painful for him to sit in his kitchen reading the paper. So instead he endangers his and everyone else's life while he reads the sports page.
  5. Red lights hit: 80%
  6. Songs on "Exile on Main Street" listened to: 9
  7. Exterior temperature range: 47 degrees to 50 degrees
  8. Times I wished I had taken the Metro: 0