All my problems with Young M.C.'s "Bust a Move."

  1. First Verse: Hostility Toward Audience
    At first we're pulled in by the experimental second-person narrative, but sarcastically calling the listener/protagonist "smarty" and then "fatso" is crossing the line. This is no way to captivate an audience.
  2. Second Verse: Severe Overreaction to Perceived Problem
    You're frustrated that you can't find a girlfriend, so your FIRST inclination is to "become a monk?" You don't even want to give a dating service a shot?
  3. Third Verse: Cynical Generalizations
    Everyone is accused of being a phony. Guys tell jokes so they can "seem" witty, but only to attract pretty city ladies. Girls are outright "fakin'" in their attempts (which include the "opportunistic" scheme of sunbathing) to land men who "bring home the bacon."
  4. Fourth Verse: Lack of Concern for Basic Social Norms
    Your best friend's brother has informed you that you will be his best man. You. Not his brother, but you. And he didn't ask, he just TOLD you. And he decides to do this FIVE DAYS before the wedding. And you're totally cool with it.