THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH MY MIND WHEN CAUGHT IN A TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR IN NEW YORK CITY

  1. How the hell are those umbrella salesmen outside before the first drop hits the ground?
  2. Great, like my shirt wasn't already wet enough from back sweat
  3. Of course, the one day I forget to wear my experimental microscopic waterproof body shield.
  4. Those body shields aren't real? Okay, how far off are we on those? Nowhere near ready? Fantastic.
  5. You mean to tell me we solved global warming but don't have microscopic waterproof body shields?
  6. We didn't do that either? Jesus Christ, what do my taxes pay for?
  7. Shit, I'll even settle for that water-repelling charm from Harry Potter. Which one was that? Impervius! That's the one.
  8. Why don't they just put the whole fucking city under a dome?
  9. Holy shit, is that cab on fire?
  10. At least nobody will be able to tell that I pissed my pants at lunch.