Things to know about a Venezuelan

If we have the good fortune to meet IRL, these simple guidelines will help you understand, possibly even like me.
  1. We love to laugh --sometimes at your expense.
    We don't mean any harm, and most Venezuelans you meet are not dicks. But we do like to tease, and will do so at every occasion, till the cow is milked dry.
  2. We still don't get the "Minnesota" thing.
    Seriously. I need to understand. How do "Venezuela" and "Minnesota" sound even remotely alike?
  3. Sadly, some of us will try to take advantage of you.
    Many Venezuelans are leaving the country, looking for a better place to live. But some still take the sleazy part of doing business here to survive, even if they don't need it. A few of us are aware of this situation, and we'll understand if you are wary.
  4. When we brag, it's because we don't want to think of how small we really are.
    We've never had a Nobel prize winner. Last year was the first time a Venezuelan movie won a prestigious festival award ("Desde Allá", in the Venice Film Festival). No market receives our technical innovations. What we were best known was for beauty queens. (And let's face it, our ladies are GORGEOUS.) So when we brag at how awesome we are, it's just to forget that we haven't really made a splash as much as we think we have.
  5. We just want to belong. Somewhere.
    A lot of us are cool people, I swear.
  6. We do NOT --repeat, do NOT-- want to talk about this guy.
    I cringed putting this picture up.
  7. We sure as Hell don't want to talk about this douche.
    Oy...
  8. But if you ask us nicely, we'll try to explain why they succeeded
    Just bear with us, and we'll try to make sense of the craziness that is my country. And finally...
  9. I just want to be that one exotic foreign friend you have.
    Edgy. So prog. ;)
  10. Finally, follow Joanna Haussman
    If you must know one Venezuelan who is not Edgar Ramirez, it needs to be her. Look for her YouTube videos and laugh your socks off. I adore her.