What you'd get in the Juan in a million suscription box

Inspired by @supercommonname
  1. Ten different types of pizza
    A different one each month. The last two are surprises. You know, coz I ate them.
  2. An origami pet, in an origami box
    Because of course.
  3. Weird t-shirts
    Button down shirts are for squares. Or people who are into this whole "growing up" thing.
  4. My original fiction, in mini booklet form
    With tantalizing titles like "The fly in the car" and "We need to talk". (Actual titles of actual stories.) (Hey this sounds like a pretty good idea, actually...)
  5. Your monthly fix of my mom's bread cake
    *Sees money thrown at him.*
  6. A different music playlist for each month
    If you don't mind hard rock (like Van Halen), heavy metal (Slipknot), indie rock (Carseat Headrest) and Venezuelan pop and rock (Los Amigos Invisibles) in constant rotation. In USB drives disguised as mixtapes. (Thinkgeek rules.)
  7. A fact sheet for the animal of the month
    This month: the Mantis shrimp. (Do yourself a favor and watch "True Facts of the Mantis Shrimp" on YouTube.)
  8. Fifteen minutes of conversation with me
    Saving the best for last. 😉