SHIT JAZZ MAJORS SAY
Overheard at your local Jazz Studies Department &/or Chris Potter Underground gig. In case you were even remotely curious.
- •"No, I have not seen Whiplash. No, I have not lived Whiplash."
- •"There's no scatting in rap battles!"
- •"Bro, do you even Jazz?"
- •"That drummer swings like Hellen Keller at a piñata party."Quite the party foul, for multiple reasons.
- •"The Trombone Choir's sounding real nice!"W/straight face that accompanies a well-meaning fib.
- •"I wish I were a pianist." /or/ "Yeah, I've really been 'shedding piano as of late."Always said by a second-year guitar player, most often after listening to yet another guitarist's album where Aaron Parks is a sideman. Some never recover.
- •"I'd sure like to transcribe that ass!"Horny asshole to the department's token female non-vocalist. Sadly, instrumental jazz remains a sausage fest. Which is depressing, because the few women that I do know that play jazz are astounding & could crush a lot of us guys (Esperanza Spalding, Tia Fuller, & co.) (Note: transcribing in jazz means to listen to a recording of someone & write out what they're playing for purposes of study. Still not sure exactly how it applies in the above case...)
- •"I'm paying this semester's tuition in exposure."Continues regular programe of sporting college sweatshirt without ceasing.
- •"Live music, live gators, to most people at most restaurants, what's the difference?This hurts.