EXCERPTS FROM UNSENT EMAILS IN MY GMAIL DRAFTS

Plus accompanying point values.
  1. 1.
    At Burning Man, [REDACTED] told me that you two are in an 'open relationship.'
    Great job following the rule to NEVER send emails containing the phrase 'at Burning Man'! +5 points.
  2. 2.
    Also, please stop liking Facebook statuses that are about me, it ruins them.
    STOP WRECKING MY FACEBOOK!! +10 points for not sending.
  3. 3.
    On the other hand, we were a bit saddened to see that two dishes on the restaurant's actual tasting menu contained truffles, which we did not receive.
    Insufferable. Thank you for not sending! +30 points, but also -50 points for crafting sentence in the first place.
  4. 4.
    You remind me of Frank Underwood in season 2. Except without the intelligent wife.
    Actually I stand by this one. No points awarded. -2 points for NOT sending.
  5. 5.
    Did you ever notice that in the early Firefly intros, it's 'We found a new solar system, and new earths were terraformed and colonized,' and then in the later ones, it's 'We terraformed a whole new galaxy of earths'?
    WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS. +3 points for keeping this one to yourself.
  6. 6.
    But I'd want to know if I were you.
    Nope. It has been definitively established that she did not, in fact, want to know. +50 points for not sending, -500 points for calling her instead.