EXPLAINING MY CURRENT SITUATION TO MY FIVE-YEARS-AGO SELF

Inspired by @kerily's very cool list.
  1. 1.
    Please sit down. I'm going to start with the bad news.
    The person you love and trust more than anyone in the world -- the one you're about to move to San Francisco for -- is going to cheat on you. Soon. Like ... a lot. Seven years into the relationship. You will not find out for a long time.
  2. 2.
    But it's not all terrible. You are about to get 2 bizarre-looking cats!
    This is Moose.
  3. 3.
    And it gets even better from there.
  4. 4.
    Well, it gets worse before it gets better.
    All your new friends in San Francisco were his friends. You hate your fancy new job. You make lots of money but feel trapped and miserable.
  5. 5.
    You will learn things about yourself you never would have learned if it weren't for the bad parts.
    They will help mold you into the person you'll be in five years. You will be aggressive and funny and loyal and mean and kind.
  6. 6.
    And in a couple of years, after much persistence .... you will get your dream job.
    You are changing the world, you do things that have never been done before, you work with the best people in the world, you use every ounce of your intelligence and creativity, you travel. You didn't know it was possible for a job to be this fulfilling.
  7. 7.
    You will make a bunch of friends who make you feel like this: 'You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very close-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.' -Robert Anton Wilson
    Which is potentially troubling and also wonderful.
  8. 8.
    You will call moving to San Francisco for him the best mistake you ever made.
    You will always miss Southern California, and maybe you will move back there someday, but these friends, this job, this life -- this is where you are supposed to be.