FICTIONAL MEN I WAS INTO AS A CHILD

  1. He-Man, age 5
    In kindergarten the mats we put down for afternoon nap were brown on one side, white on the other. I would always put mine brown-side up so I could pretend I was lying on He-Man's tanned chest.
  2. Tramp, age 7
    The lady dogs sang throaty songs about how sexy his bad-boy ways were. No wonder we're all fucked up now. (Because we go for the jerks, that is. Not because we go for the dogs.)
  3. Laurie from Little Women, age 9
    I was so harsh on Jo at the time but now I get it. You can't love a man who would end up with an Amy.
  4. Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables, age 10
    I recall this as very wholesome but in retrospect, "Carrots" is the original neg. Now telling myself I was probably ACTUALLY into Anne and just didn't know how to process that.
  5. Sherlock Holmes, age 11
    The beginning of a lifelong attraction to men who are so smart they can barely function. (Or who think they're so smart that they shouldn't have to.)
  6. Leo Kovalensky from We the Living, age 13
    This book played a HUGE part in shaping my burgeoning sexuality and that is NOT A GOOD THING. Example: "His mouth, calm, severe, contemptuous, was that of an ancient chieftain who could order men to die, and his eyes were such as could watch it."